Funny things while being pregnant...

NAMES:
Since we are having such a hard time coming up with a name...I am annoyed when someone asks me what names we are thinking of and I tell them a few and they feel they should voice their disapproval of our name choices. I have changed the way I respond to this question now. It goes a little something like this:

PERSON: Oh...you're having a boy. How wonderful. Have you thought of any names?

ME: I sure have:  Nebuchadnezzar, Ben Gay, Prince, Aladin. Facial expressions are priceless!!

STU'S  (UT OH) COMMENT:
A couple weeks ago I was in the kitchen (favorite place for a pregnant woman) making a root beer float when Stu came in from work. Like every other day when Stu comes home from work he greets me with a hug and kiss and we talk about our day...except this day...I was greeted with a kiss and a hug, but as he hugged me the word vomit came out...he squeezed me tight and said (in a husky voice)..."that's my big girl". WHAT?  Did those words actually just come out of his mouth? I think he was thinking the same thing when he saw my facial expression.

DREAMING:
Pregnancy dreams are weird and vivid. I honestly think free therapy for all mothers post baby just to deal with pregnancy dreams needs to be established. In my most recent dream I was the extra sibling on the Brady Bunch. It went Marsha, Jan, ME, and Cindy. Alice was rounding all of us up to go boating.

WHAT'S IN A NAME:
Back to the name picking for a brief minute...Stu and I when attempting to pick a name are trying to take into consideration the meaning of a name. We got curious and looked up the meaning of FLANNERY. Stu was sure his last name was full of Irish manly strength. Just for those of you who don't know....I about peed my pants when we typed in the name and the definition was...drum roll please....RED EYEBROWS!! I just burst out laughing...especially when I looked at Stu's face. We just sat and laughed.

BLOCKBUSTER:
(at counter checking out)

GUY: So when is the baby due?
ME:  I'm sorry what did you say?  (I thought he asked when the baby was due, but I wasn't sure)
GUY: (face turning bright red) Um....Um...(scared voiced) when is your baby due? You're pregnant right?
ME: Nah...it's a beer gut (pause................smile and laugh)
STU: She just had a big lunch (LAUGHER)
GUY:  (relieved) I would have felt really bad if you weren't pregnant
ALL OF US:  we continued to cut up for a couple minutes. It was priceless!

TORPEDO BELLY?
Last week we were sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be seen. I was sitting in a chair reading a baby magazine and Stu was...well I'm not sure what Stu was doing. I peaked up over the top of my magazine and I saw a girl walk out of the office and walk past us. She was obviously due very soon as her stomach looked like she shoved a pointy watermelon or three up her shirt. I immediatley turn to Stu to watch his expression. He just starred and his eyes grew bigger and bigger....I could see the wheels turning in his head....I knew exactly what was coming next:

STU:  (looking at me) (pausing for a few seconds) Is that what you are going to look like?
ME: (elbow him in the ribs and tell him SHHHHH) Well lets pray to Jesus right now that I don't.
US:  (lots of bursts of loud obnoxious laughter = mean stares from other people in the waiting room)
I just love my husband. Anyone who REALLY knows him knows his facial expressions tell everything that is running through his mind.

THE NEVER ENDING QUEST FOR PREGNANCY CLOTHES:
Trying to find pregnancy clothes in this city is impossible. They carry maternity clothes, just none my size. Stu's mother sent me a couple shirts, which I was so thankful for, and I found out she bought them at J.C. Penny...a place we had not looked yet. One day we were driving the car and Stu said "I'm taking you shopping" woo hoo!!! We pull into the mall and headed to J.C. Penny on a quest to find maternity clothes. Their selection was small and in complete disarray so we had to dig and hunt for clothes. Stu has great taste so I asked him to pick me out some stuff he liked. He delivers clothes to me in the dressing room and waits for me to model them for him...referring back to the big girl comment before...I begin to notice a pattern in the clothes Stu has picked out....hmmmm....they are all larges. Note: he asked me while we were picking out the clothes what size and I told him small...obviously in his mind I am not small. To humor him...I tried on all the "big girl" clothes and modeled them for him and we just laughed and laughed at how ridiculous I looked. We were obviously causing a scene because Stu got kicked out of the dressing room.